Loyal Patron

I have a loyal patron who comes in every week without fail, ever since he moved locally for work. He is very kind, and seems a bit ostentatious to the untrained eye.

He and I have shared many stories and have quipped about many ideas.

One day, he looked at me in a very serious way, "I don't have much time left. I have to make it count." He paused, "I don't know why it's so damn important, but it just is."

I was so moved by this, I was speechless. He walked out of the bar, back to work.



Another day, when I made mention of an abnormally annoying table. He said, "It's physiological," as if that explained everything. He got angrier and angrier and explained how upset it made him to see cognitively impaired people treated differently. Besides, "They're people."

He told me how when he was young he beat a kid and pushed him over the stair railing for tormenting a cognitively impaired child in his class. He says to this day, he doesn't recall doing it. He totally blacked out, but he never regretted it.



He told me recently, "I told a young man, who is soon to be married, 'As soon as the ceremony is over, you might as well write her a check for half of everything you have and call it done. It will never get any better than that day. You'll work your whole life trying to get back to it.'"

I was surprised he had such a perspective, being a married man, but I suppose there is some truth to it. In his mind, he is chasing a memory. A good one, but a memory.



He's an older man who wears glasses, hats, and big coats. He talks in a manner that is charming, and rarely heard from my generation.

Not actual person in blog

A true southern gentleman.




He still comes into the bar when I'm not there. Life is "the usual" for him right now.

Shang Hai

I have many people sit at my bar, sometimes they honor me with their stories, their desires, their dreams.

A young man walks in and sits down. He orders a beer. He explains he has a test to 'prep' for.

I start talking to him about his college. He tells me he is graduating this coming semester. I ask the inevitable, "What are your plans after that?"

He starts retorting with the common get an internship in Blah, get a job doing Blah.

OK. So I ask my loaded question, "If money were no object, and you had the education required to do whatever you wanted to do, what would you do?"

"... Move to Shang Hai." OK, now we are getting somewhere. He tells me how he traveled abroad to a couple of different countries and he loved Shang Hai. Loved the city. Loved being an outsider.

So, what would you do? He starts telling me about how he could do Blah with his degree.

No, no, no. Education doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. You have the tools and resources. What would you do?

"... I'd own a bar." OK! That is a lot more interesting than whatever a marketing/advertising/management internship might get you.


He continued to tell me about how he wanted to open up a "Western, American" bar in China. He loved the busy and bustling atmosphere. He liked to be seen as a "foreigner." He wanted to stand out. A kid, who in the US probably felt like a nobody, wanted to go to China and stand out against the crowd.

I think this is brave, courageous, and interesting. We all have a dream, doing that, making that dream happen is another challenge. We often talk ourselves into believing that it isn't possible. But I think life is short and we should go after our passions. There has to be a reason for it, right?

Don't settle. I hope this young man goes on to grad school, but I also hope he takes a trip to China. I hope he lives there. I hope he opens up a bar there. Or at least has fun failing at it, if it isn't a success. I hope he tries to be a bartender or manage a bar, because I want him to feel secure in his decision to pursue whatever it is that he pursues in life.



He graduated last May, and there's no telling what he's doing out in the world, but I wish him the best of luck.

United by Stories

This is my project. This is what I want to push for progress. And here is why...

I believe that everyone has a story-- sad, happy, twisted, blissful, miraculous, or any other plethora of describers. Everyone has a story. What I believe unites us as human beings, is our innate desire to share these stories with others.

There is something profound in listening to the dialogue of someone who has just experienced something traumatic. We feel their pain, we hear their struggle. Oftentimes, we end up sharing our stories with random people. Strangers at the time, even. They may grow into more, or they may stand as a nearly forgotten moment of catharsis.

It's as if we know, that they will listen, because they too want someone to listen. Our stories define us. They are our life experience. It may not be a big momentous, monumental moment. There may not be a date to associate with it. But it is our lifetime, our time, ours to own in that moment.

I believe that throughout history, every culture, in every place has had a desire to believe in something beyond themselves, to be connected to others. I believe that there is something innate and undeniable inside of most human beings to connect.

Our stories connect us.

Our pain and happiness, sorrow and glee, trust and faith, our blinding desire and passion to survive. This is how we connect to people. This is how we learn to love people. This is how we evolve.


Share your story.

Connect with others.

Be United by Stories.

Be US.

Picture from emotiveprogram.org

This is Project US. I can't fathom that a project like this could go where I have hope for it to go, but I hope it becomes meaningful for me. For someone. Thanks for listening and wish me luck in my future endeavors.

If you'd like to share your story, contact me. Comment below.